Back to Basics

Change is upon us. Predictions swirl. Financial forecasts are grim. No wonder free-floating anxiety and fear have taken hold.

What is the best way to handle these times? Conventional wisdom says to suck it up and keep a tight rein on the amount of information ingested. Stay alert. Hold on tight. Congratulate yourself if your safety and security needs are being handled, and hope that your industry, company, institutions, close family members, and good friends, are all as safe and taken care of as you.

If you can isolate yourself enough from the world around you, this approach might work. Unfortunately, with the domino effect of multiple industries collapsing at the same time, there is a more than likely chance that someone you love is experiencing the emotional devastation that comes from loss of external safety and security.

Facing the unknown is frightening in the best of circumstances. Therefore, the usual response is to feel threatened. Once threatened, defensive behaviors follow quickly. Tight jawed, stoic insistences, and Herculean efforts to beat life into submission, are all ways that some of us use to counter unwanted circumstances.

On the other hand, being swept away by a torrent of uncontrollable negativity, hopelessness, and erratic emotionalism, is often another response to the same out of control circumstances.

These responses are natural when our survival appears to be threatened. Threat triggers our fight/flight response. There is a third response, that doesn’t get much press. It is the freeze response.

You can’t muster up enough proactive energy to fight. That includes looking and applying for a new job, analyzing your financial statements and making the necessary decisions whether to hold or fold, or talking with your partner about their testy responses to anything and everything. In other words, anything that is pulling on your already taxed energy reserves.

You can’t flee because “Everywhere you go, there you are.” How did your life get reduced down to the seemingly negative realities that you are currently facing? This isn’t how the story is supposed to play out. After all, you are too...to have to deal with these challenges at this time in your life.

You are too old, too stressed, too burdened, too busy, too (fill in the blank) to have this happening to you So, you can’t move forward to better times because you can’t envision how things are going to play out. You can’t retreat to the imagined safety of the past because it has unraveled into a heap of rubble that used to be your safe and secure life. Seemingly, you are trapped.

You can’t go back and you can’t move forward. Uh oh. All those New Age clichés like “Be Here Now” and “Stay in the Present” sound a whole lot better as concepts rather than the actual experience. Apparently, there are some attitudes that must be embraced and mastered before present tense living will work for you.

First, assess your true energy level. If you are depleted from too much worry and stress, admit it. You are in no shape to take on new challenges. If the perfect job came your way right now, you would be dishonest if you took it. Why? Because you have nothing of value to contribute at this time. 

The antidote? Get healthy. Pull in your hyper-vigilant antenna and take on the task of getting rested and sane by taking control of your frantic mind. If you are feeling insecure, admit it. The truth is everyone is capable of being overcome by feelings of insecurity.

Therefore, the real truth is that insecurity is a reality. The only part that we have control over is whether we remain kind and respectful to those around us or whether we take our insecurities out on those we love.

Stop and assess your behavior. If you are punishing your loved ones for your insecurities, stop it. Take a deep breath, apologize, and correct your bad behavior. 

Here is the good news. Life is fluid. Change is constant. Chaos shifts into unforeseen opportunities. 

If you don’t like what you are presently experiencing, wait for the climate to change. Change your mind first, so that you are ready to take small, positive steps when the external environment does change. Apply liberal doses of kindness, gentleness, and humor with yourself and with everyone you interact.

It is your duty to contribute your brand of beauty to the situations you find yourself in, no matter what the external climate. 

It is comparatively easy to shine when life is going your way. The true test of your character is when you are pressed to stand up and be true to your basic goodness and the basic goodness of your life, no matter what. Allow beauty and duty to marry and birth a new reality infused with dignity and courage, as we face the unknown.